and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
