please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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