I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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