No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
