Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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