Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
did you just send me my own nude
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
