Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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