I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
