got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
