Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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