what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
