There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think a kid would responsible me up
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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