hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
