so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
