I love black thongs
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize