I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
