East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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