And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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