I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
