apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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