It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
