Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
