i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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