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8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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