Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This is classic penis vs brain.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
