all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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