woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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