you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
