I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
