it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
