Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
