mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize