Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
