He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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