If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
