It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
