This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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