if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize