that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
