New low: just hacked my moms facebook
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
