so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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