You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
