I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
