Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
