Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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