I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
