Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
