Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
