Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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