After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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