no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
