they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
