all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
