please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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