guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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