we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This toilet bowl is my home.
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