I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
