so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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