if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
