Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
