i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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