no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
